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Old 02-04-2012, 07:37:30 PM     #1 (permalink)

 
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Someone tell me a joke or something

I'm having a terrible year and I need cheering up. Bad jokes, dirty jokes, cute pictures of animals, anything will do
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Old 02-04-2012, 07:47:17 PM     #2 (permalink)

 
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OK, a topical one...

1963 - Whitney Houston
2012 - Whitney Houstoff
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Old 02-04-2012, 08:33:39 PM     #3 (permalink)

 
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Shagged a girl last night who had a plasticine fanny, and i made a fucking big impression on her!
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Old 02-04-2012, 09:03:45 PM     #4 (permalink)

 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aegean View Post
OK, a topical one...

1963 - Whitney Houston
2012 - Whitney Houstoff
That made me chuckle out loud. But it's bad :P

Quote:
Originally Posted by anthony View Post
Shagged a girl last night who had a plasticine fanny, and i made a fucking big impression on her!
Lol
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Old 02-04-2012, 09:10:44 PM     #5 (permalink)

 
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."
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Old 02-04-2012, 09:11:39 PM     #6 (permalink)

 
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs
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Old 02-04-2012, 09:12:15 PM     #7 (permalink)

 
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Old 02-04-2012, 09:45:41 PM     #8 (permalink)

 
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I just made a cheese and pineapple sandwich....

...that's Hawaii roll
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Old 02-04-2012, 10:01:55 PM     #9 (permalink)
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Smile

I was telling a girl in the pub about my uncanny ability to guess the day a woman was born just by feeling their breasts.

"Really?" she said. "Go on then... Try."

After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.

"Come on," she demanded, "What day was I born on?"

"Yesterday?" I replied....

Anyone want me to guess their birthday?

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Old 03-04-2012, 09:23:39 AM     #10 (permalink)

 
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Santa had a leakage in roof over the dining.

Plumber asked: Sir when did you notice it?

Santa: Last night when it took me 3 hours to finish my soup...!!
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