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Someone tell me a joke or something

Discussion in 'General Board' started by Blossom, Apr 2, 2012.

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  1. Blossom

    Blossom Well-Known Member

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    I'm having a terrible year and I need cheering up. Bad jokes, dirty jokes, cute pictures of animals, anything will do :D
     
  2. Domain Forum

    Acorn Domains Elite Member

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  3. Aegean

    Aegean Active Member

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    OK, a topical one...

    1963 - Whitney Houston
    2012 - Whitney Houstoff
     
  4. anthony United Kingdom

    anthony Well-Known Member

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    Shagged a girl last night who had a plasticine fanny, and i made a fucking big impression on her! :)
     
  5. Blossom

    Blossom Well-Known Member

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    That made me chuckle out loud. But it's bad :p

    Lol :)
     
  6. tifosi United Kingdom

    tifosi Well-Known Member

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    A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."
     
  7. tifosi United Kingdom

    tifosi Well-Known Member

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    I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs
     
  8. tifosi United Kingdom

    tifosi Well-Known Member

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    A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
     
  9. bensd United Kingdom

    bensd Well-Known Member Exclusive Member

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    I just made a cheese and pineapple sandwich....

    ...that's Hawaii roll
     
  10. admin Spain

    admin Administrator Staff Member

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    I was telling a girl in the pub about my uncanny ability to guess the day a woman was born just by feeling their breasts.

    "Really?" she said. "Go on then... Try."

    After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.

    "Come on," she demanded, "What day was I born on?"

    "Yesterday?" I replied....

    Anyone want me to guess their birthday?

    Admin
     
  11. vikrantjain22 India

    vikrantjain22 Active Member

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    Santa had a leakage in roof over the dining.

    Plumber asked: Sir when did you notice it?

    Santa: Last night when it took me 3 hours to finish my soup...!!
     
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