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light hearted humor

Discussion in 'General Board' started by pugyrob, Mar 31, 2008.

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  1. pugyrob United Kingdom

    pugyrob Well-Known Member

    Nov 2005
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    Friend emailed me the following and thought id share it, i like this sort of nonsense it makes me feel intelligent :)


    Actual call centre conversations !!!!!

    Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.
    Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
    Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
    Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.
    Samsung Electronics
    Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
    Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.
    Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
    Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.
    RAC Motoring Services
    Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'
    Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'
    Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
    'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'
    Directory Enquiries
    Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.
    Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'
    Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.
    Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
    Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
    Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.
    On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
    'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.
    Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
    Customer: 'OK'.
    Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
    Customer: 'No'.
    Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
    Customer: 'No'.
    Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
    Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.
    Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
    Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
    Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
    There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

    Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
    Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
    Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
    Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
    Operator: 'Went away?'
    Caller: 'They disappeared.'
    Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
    Caller: 'Nothing.'
    Operator: 'Nothing??'
    Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
    Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
    Caller: 'How do I tell?'
    Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
    Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
    Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
    Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
    Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
    Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
    Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
    Caller: 'I don't know.'
    Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
    Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
    Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
    Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
    Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
    Caller: 'No.'
    Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
    Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
    Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
    Caller: 'I can't reach.'
    Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
    Caller: 'No.'
    Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
    Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
    Operator: 'Dark??'
    Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
    ' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
    Caller: 'I can't.'
    Operator: 'No? Why not??'
    Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
    Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
    Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
    Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
    Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
    Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
    Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
    Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
    Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'
  2. Domain Forum

    Acorn Domains Elite Member

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  3. Darren United Kingdom

    Darren Well-Known Member

    Feb 2008
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    Good stuff made me smile. The last one was best.
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