Wit and humour

[keys]

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 

[keys]

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

 

[dee]

Hair transends the language barrier . You're welcome

http://lajkat.se/19-legendariska-frisyrer-barn-tvingades-ha-av-sina-foraldrar-under-90-talet/

 

[keys]

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

 

[aZooZa]

Women are temperamental. Half temper, and half mental.

 

[keys]

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

 

[Admin]

Women are temperamental. Half temper, and half mental.

You're for it when @Blossom turns up

 

[aZooZa]

@Steve (Admin) It's only anecdotal Steve. I've never met a crazy woman with a bad temper myself. Perhaps I don't get out enough...

 

[keys]

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

 

[keys]

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

 

[keys]

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

 

[keys]

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

 

[keys]

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

 

[keys]

You can teach a new dog old tricks, but you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

 

[keys]

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

 

[keys]

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

 

[Edwin]

Nostalgia's not like it used to be.

 

[PaulDirectory]

1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d

 

[keys]

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

 

[keys]

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.