Geek Joke Thread

[Jeewhizz]

If you laugh, then you == g33k


A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn't.

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I called the janitor the other day to see what he could do about my dingy linoleum floor. He said he would have been happy to loan me a polisher, but that he hadn't the slightest idea what he had done with it. I told him not to worry about it - that as a programmer it wasn't the first time I had experienced a buffer allocation failure due to a memory error.

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“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”

very long pause….

“Java.”


Q. What sits on a communications engineer's shoulder and says "Pieces of seven! Pieces of seven!"?

A. A parity error.

 

[satch]

Ok I did actually laugh at the java one

 

[Skinner]

There 10 kinds of people who understand geek jokes, those who do and those who dont.

If you ever run into software I have worked on writting you may get

There has been an error: ID:10T

Seriously, I write that error into almost all the large projects I write especially on the ones where you have to be that to get that error.

 

[DaveH]

It's been revealed that "VISTA" is actually an acronym that describes what you can expect from the new operating system!

V - Viruses
I - Instability
S - Spyware
T - Trojans
A - Adware

#

You're Probably A Computer Nerd If

• Your web page is far more popular than you
• Your home page is more impressive than your resume
• You've thought about getting a tattoo of the Intel logo
• You look at computer magazines instead of Playboy
• You often argue with your computer, fuss at the modem and cuss your ISP
• You talk to a woman about your hardware and don't mean anything sexual
• Your computer has more phone lines than the people in your house
• You ask a woman for her e-mail address instead of her phone number
• You think FrontPage is for whimps
• You run Windows 95, 3.1 and Unix just because you can
• You think Bill Gates is "cool"
• You spend more time on the Net than you do sleeping
• You "call in" sick to work via e-mail
• Everyone in your family has multiple e-mail addresses
• You've have a LAN set-up in your house
• Your idea of hurrying is typing faster
• You keep spare mouse pads
• You keep a spare PC just to test virus hoaxes
• You use a tape backup to save Web Sites you've visited
• You have more invested in computers than you do your kids
• You have and use every known commercial/shareware anti-virus program
• You see how far you can move the mouse w/o turning off the screen saver
• At night, you check your e-mail before you check your answering machine
• You still have original version of NetScape
• You not only us computer acronyms, you know what they're short for too
• You have a better computer system at home than at work
• The only sex you have now is on-line
• You can quote chapter and verse from various html manuals
• You're still not sure if adding graphics to the Internet was a good idea